Becareful What You Wish For

What is it about us humans that desire can become disastrous in our lives when “wishing for this”, or “wishing for that”? Maybe because wishing is not what it should be, nothing in life comes simple and with easy. Living and Free Will as Mark Smith expressed, is a BITCH! It’s the outcome of the wish that is hard to navigate and sometimes has a price. As I found out what I wished for came with a price, an emotional price of guilt, it feels like a heavy brick I can’t kick off.

My work did not come easy as a care provider, I went through a number of problems, seeking outside support which I never received. Doctors not being present and accurate when it came to their job as I’m sure being a doctor has its demands, but the quality of care in hospitals is not what it should be. The quality of medical care is the worst for people today, especially in America where universal health insurance doesn’t exist.

Before my man expired I was so exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically beat up, I found myself taking naps when I could because I could feel Todd’s Death Energy. I wanted him to sleep and not wake. I just couldn’t take it anymore, my emotions and physical strength were tearing me apart. I just wished to be alone in my own place far away. Well, I am alone, but not far away. I need to get out of this shit town. Only half of what I wished for happened. Now it’s time to manifest and escape into never land.

Yet I had Spirit Guides that were speaking to me, they asked me how long I wanted him to live? I never answered. Yet a couple of days passed and I wished for him to sleep and not wake up, 4am came around and he was gone. In the last year many spirit guides spoke to me randomly. I told this to Mark Smith, he shared with me I was lucky, as most people don’t have this in their lives. Of course losing Todd, I lost everything else, a job and a home. I’m not going to worry about it to much, but I need to secure myself one way or another. Right now my mental and emotional state of being is most important to me. The rest will follow.

The point here is as humans we have our moments of frustration and forget to step back and look at we do have, we can’t expect life to be perfect because its not, its messy. With that being said, be grateful and know its not going to stay the same, things change all the time, no matter how hard it gets, change is always in motion, so be careful of your wishes, they could come with a price that could be worse than you imagine.